Losing Battles
by penguinperson38
Summary: My thoughts on how Korra lost her memory. I might add some more chapters in the future, but for now it is a one-shot. Rated T because I am paranoid. I do not own Legend of Korra. *New chapter added!*
1. Chapter 1

She sliced through the open ocean with a cluttered mind and an empty heart, his words ringing throughout her head. "So, what? Are you breaking up with me?" she had asked, her anger replacing her common sense. "Yeah, I guess I am." he had said, his voice low. A heavy silence hung in the room. Her anger immediately diminished, exposing her shock and hurt. Tears formed in her eyes. No, she wouldn't let them see her pain. Somehow she managed to escape through the threshold without looking back. She wanted to look back, she _needed _to look back. But she didn't. She wondered if he did.

The speed of the boat made her feel powerful. She wasted no time in putting as much distance as possible between her and Mako, her eyes locked on the horizon. She listened to her head now, her heart was an idiot. A hopeless, broken, idiot. The emptiness she had felt turned to raw pain, beginning in her stomach and catching in her throat. Their memories, everything they had been through, seemed miles away, almost nonexistent. She could turn back and apologize, she could set everything right. She could be wrapped in his embrace, safe and warm in his strong arms as he whispered his apology in her ear. The temptation of the thought alone was almost enough to make her slow down. Almost. Something drove her onward, perhaps her own fear of rejection. She allowed herself a fleeting moment of weakness, in which a single tear escaped her eye and was taken away with the wind, long forgotten.

She was snapped out of her pain induced trance by a sudden rush of water. She turned around to see her two cousins pursuing her. Great. She couldn't deal with this now. She halfheartedly threw a beam of water in their direction. A rage-fueled Eska promptly sliced the boat in half, sending Korra straight into the ocean. Her instincts took over and she was able to pull herself high above the surface. She shot a few attacks down at her cousins, only to be knocked down by a stream of water. She was able to regain her position by airbending and forced a large wave over the two. Korra had lined up her final attack when her cousins suddenly fell back. She lowered herself back to the water, confused. Why had they fallen back?

As if on cue, a huge, black figure emerged from the water. A dark spirit. Its glowing green eye seemed to stare straight into her soul, sending a cold tremor of fear down her spine. A dark and unforgiving tentacle slashed in her direction, and then another, and then another, until she was knocked back into the water. She felt weak, defeated. But she refused to give up, it was in her nature. She felt herself slip into the avatar state and rise out of the ocean. Her instincts took over as she dexterously surrounded the spirit in a glowing stream of water like her uncle had done. The creature seemed to calm and lose its hostility. But Korra was not her uncle. With a deafening screech, the spirit broke the restraint the water gave and lurched at her.

Darkness. Dangerous, yet seductive. Korra struggled against its grasp, but she only seemed to fall further. She was fighting a losing battle. Her entire being became heavy. She felt alone, she felt empty, and she felt pain. She was being dragged, closer and closer into a dark abyss. She desperately clung to the thinning thread that was her lifeline. It was too much. The weight of the world seemed to crush her, and the pain became unbearable. She wanted to scream. She wanted to forget. Forget the pain. Forget the hurt. Forget Mako. She was numb. Her eyelids became heavy and her thoughts began to blur. Her throat ached and her chest felt as though it was being ripped apart. There was only one escape from this pain. The pain he had caused. The pain that threatened to destroy her. Korra had made her choice: she let go.

She was falling, falling, miles and miles away from the light. In that moment, her will to forget was greater than her will to remember. In that moment, she had lost.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's note: I decided to add another chapter! Thank you so much to everyone who read this! **

He clutched the worn edges of the photograph between his gloved fingers, gazing at the faded color of the image. They had looked so happy. The smile plastered on her face was unfeigned and innocent, the same smile that he had fallen in love with.

Before he went and messed everything up.

The sheer pressure she was under and the confliction within her was enough to turn that smile strained. Being the Avatar, she was expected to fix everything and please everyone. She was also expected to prevent an inevitable war. She had watched her home sieged and her father arrested. He understood. He hadn't before but he did now. Only he came to this realization too little too late. She needed him, and he broke her heart. He missed her. From the minute she left that room he missed her and every minute after that. He was filled with nostalgia to the point of pain. He would give anything for those times back, to see that smile again. But he could no longer help her. Times have changed. He had changed. And he would never stop feeling guilty.

The photograph was very easily burned, very easily reduced to ashes. He could do it. He could set fire to a torn corner and watch the flames engulf the paper until nothing remained. It was tempting. Rather than the burden of remembrance, he wanted the freedom of forgetting. But somehow, for some reason, he couldn't bring himself to do it. It seemed as though destroying their memories would consequently destroy him. It was a keepsake that told him who they once were. A reminder of everything he had lost.

At the sound of the door opening, Mako carefully tucked the photo in his uniform, close to his heart, where it could never be taken from him. It made him feel safe, as if the thin paper could protect him from harm. Something his police uniform never did. It had, in turn, done precisely the opposite. He wore that uniform more often than his normal attire. It consumed him. He had become so caught up in his job that he had forgotten what was important. He had neglected Korra when she needed him most.

Asami entered the room, clearly upset about her lost shipment. Without it, the company she was desperately trying to save would fall apart. Mako could offer little consolation. He tried to present Beifong and the ship captain information he found vital, only to be thrown out and humiliated. Asami convinced him to carry out a sting operation in an attempt to figure out what was going on. He could lose his job, the very thing he chose over Korra.

The pair recruited the Triple Threats and set off on one of Verek's ships. It wasn't long before their plans went awry. They were able to escape on a lifeboat and head towards the city. They rushed to Asami's factory, but it was too late. It was gone. All of it. Gone. Asami was ruined. Her company, her hopes, everything she worked towards, obliterated. Mako desperately suggested other options, but it was futile. Asami's company was finished. Her face fell with loss and disbelief. In a last ditch effort, Mako gave her the only thing he could: a promise. A promise that he wasn't going to give up. She looked up at him through tears, her eyes pleading. Her face inched closer to his.

He had messed up once. He wasn't about to do it again. He would never forgive himself for what happened between him and Korra. This was his chance. He could start anew. He could be there for Asami in her time of need and remain by her side when the world seemed to weigh on her shoulders. He could do everything he failed to do with Korra. He…he couldn't. He was compensating, and he knew it. He needed to set things right with Korra, not Asami. But would she forgive him? Would she want him there after he abandoned her? The pain of the unanswered questions hung around his shoulders. He wanted to forget. Forget his wrongdoing. Forget everything he had lost. He couldn't fight it. He caved. The battle inside him ceased as Asami pressed her lips to his.


End file.
